When I tell someone that I deactivated my Facebook account, I usually receive one of the following responses: horror that I willingly choose to cut myself off from the world, justification for why the person to whom I’m speaking can’t possibly deactivate his/hers, or praise for not getting sucked in. I haven’t been on it for at least 3.5 years, and I have to say that I think I’m a much better person for it. But why did I get off of it in the first place, you ask? I’m happy to tell you!
One of the primary reasons why I deactivated my Facebook account was because I couldn’t handle having to update my privacy settings all the time. It was such a hassle keeping track of the changes that were constantly being made regarding how my information was being published and shared. No, Facebook, I do not want to automatically post my location when I update my status! No, Facebook, I do NOT want you sharing my photos with people who are separated from me by 20 degrees! I was one of those hypocritical people who wanted to use Facebook to connect, but didn’t actually want anyone to find me. Then, after I had my baby, I started to get paranoid. What if people start paying attention to when I’m not at home and try to burgle my house? What if one of my patients or patients’ caregivers sees pictures of me doing something unseemly? What if someone sees pictures of my baby and wants to kidnap her? Okay, just kidding, my paranoia didn’t go that far. Point being, I didn’t want to have to constantly check my privacy settings to make sure that Facebook hadn’t arbitrarily changed them. It was easier to just get rid of it altogether.
The other major problem I had was that I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I noticed myself feeling more critical of people – my supposed friends – whenever it seemed like they were trying too hard to portray themselves in a certain light. You know what I’m talking about – the people whose partners are always bringing them flowers and gifts, or whose children seemed to have sprouted from wildflowers with birds singing above them, or the ones whose jobs are SO AMAZING and SO FULFILLING every day. And don’t even get me started on the humble braggers! More and more, I saw my friends split into false selves (i.e., their social media persona) and true selves. The thing was, I really liked my friends for who they were, and I knew that if I wanted to keep it that way, I had to block myself from seeing who they were pretending to be.
I also needed to be honest with myself about why I was truly on Facebook. It wasn’t really to reestablish relationships, like everyone claims they’re doing; it was to be a lurker. I just wanted to see what people had been up to during the years that we weren’t in touch. Sometimes I would silently compare how my life had stacked up against theirs, but that’s just a terrible thing to do to oneself. Yes, I was curious about people I had lost contact with and yes, I cared about them, but I came to realize that I didn’t need them in my life. If we lost touch, there was probably a reason for it; Facebook certainly wasn’t gonna be the thing that kept us together.
So there you have it. Ultimately, I decided that I would make the effort to keep in touch with the people who were truly important to me, and I would find out who felt the same way about me. Thus far, FOMO hasn’t consumed me, I talk to people over the phone more, and the hours I would’ve spent on Facebook are now spent playing with my daughter, reading, eating, and/or blogging. You should try it! Give up Facebook for two weeks and see what happens. You might be surprised by how much of your life you regain.
Smarticle Matter 